


Pain that makes us stronger

by Amyra



Category: Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan (2020), Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan (2020) RPF
Genre: Boys Kissing, Fluff and Angst, Hair Washing, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Support, broken wrist, shy Aman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:54:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27048292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amyra/pseuds/Amyra
Summary: Few broken bones are good when they teach you lessons for life. Aman had a small accident and its upto Kartik to take care of the pain beyond physical one.
Relationships: Kartik Singh/Aman Tripathi
Comments: 15
Kudos: 23





	Pain that makes us stronger

Kartik was pacing around their living room and the pacing was increasing constantly with the time passing by.The reason you ask for this is Aman is not home yet which is truly worrisome because.....

Aman told him that he had a half day today in the office which means he would be home atleast 2 hours before Kartik.But ironically there is no sign of Aman even after almost one hour since Kartik reached home.He tried calling Aman but the phone was switched off. Thus, Kartik's patience was wearing out by this point.

He grabbed his bike keys and was about to dash out of the house when he heard the front door opening.

"Aman...."Kartik sighed in relief and ran to the front door so as to calm his nerves by hugging the only person in the world who is capable of doing so.

"Aman....Aman! Aman!!!! Shit ye kaisa hoya? Are you okay? your wrist...This...what the hell happened?"Kartik almost screamed in shock on seeing Aman's condition.

Apparently Aman's clothes was covered with dirt unlike his usually perfectly clean ones; shirt untucked, his hairs dishevelled and...

THERE WAS A FREAKING SPLINT ON HIS RIGHT WRIST.

"Kartik andar toh aane de mujhe pehle."Aman said in a very calm amd soothing voice to keep in check the panic storming in Kartik's eyes.

Kartik stepped aside to let Aman in and then closed the door hurriedly.

Aman was sitting on the couch by this time.Kartik came closer and kneel before Aman placing his hands on other's knees and looking up with concern filled eyes.

Taking this as cue Aman started explaining.

"Kartik, itna kuch serious nahi hai.Woh main road cross karne ka wait kar raha tha toh itne mein ek bike se takra gaya. shayad uski bike imbalance ho gyi thi aur speed jyada hone ki wajah se woh ladka usse control nhi kar paya toh-"

"Naam bata saale ka, mooh tod dunga main uska."Kartik in said low voice full of rage, his hands tighten their grip on Aman's knees.

Aman placed a gently cupped Kartik's cheek to calm him.

"Nahi Kartik, he was a good man. He is the one only who took me to hospital immediately and also paid for the expenses mere mana karne ke baad bhi. He was truly guilty."

"You don't take care of yourself at all?"Kartik has tears in the corner of his eyes and he wrapped Aman in a hug holding him tightly but pulled back immediately.

"Where all you are injured?"

Aman kissed him between his brows to ease the frown on his beautiful forehead.

"Aur kahi nahi hai just a little fracture in my right wrist bone."Aman said in a pout lifting his right wrist up to show him.

"Why you hadn't told me and why were you not picking up my calls?"

"My phone broke too..."Aman said.

Kartik gave him a sad smile; cupped his face kissing every inch of it alternating between gentle and chaste kisses whispering a small 'I love yous' in between every now and thenstill on his kness.

"Kartik, come here."

Aman whispered merely an inch away from Kartik's lips and almost pulled Kartik off the floor, onto the sofa with his left hand.He wrapped Kartik in an embrace carefully tucking himself in his lover's chest; hand clutching Kartik's shirt at the back.

"Aman."

"Hm?"

"Kapde utar apne."

"Kya?" Aman exclaimed, quickly separating himself from Kartik and looked at him with his mouth slightly open with surprise and bit of disbelief .

"K-kya matlab k-kap- kapde utar. Kartik....baby....i know u missed my touch and i also feel the same...par abhi aise achanak....main mana nahi kar raha hun...par thoda wait nhi kar skte?"

Aman looked cautiously at Kartik's face expecting a hurt look on the other's face but what he saw was a expression first confuse then amused and finally Kartik started laughing loudly.Aman opened and closed his mouth several time to say something but apparently he was puzzled beyond measures with this sudden turn of events.

"Tripathi! Tere dimag mein 24 ghante sex hi chalta rehta hai.I know I'm so hot and very hard to resist par babu itna bhi kya besabar hona."Kartik said between the fits of laughter.

After few minutes when he finally calm down he smiled softly saying

"I asked you to took off your clothes just to make sure that you don't have any other injuries."

Finally realisation hit Aman and he almost laughed at his thoughts, his ears were emitting heat and he was sure that they were a good shade of red by now.

"Kartik main doctor ke pass se hi aa raha hun. There is nothing to worry about."

"Aman tune doctor ko jo bataya usne wah ka treatment kar diya bas. Did he examined you fully?"

"No..."

"Then how you are sure about not having any other injuries. There might be little scratches that needed to be cleaned.Aur vaise bhi your clothes are dirty as fuck and needed to be changed otherwise."

Aman just nodded his head unable to deny anything Kartik asked of him.

"Aisa kar bedroom mein ja main aata hun tere liye pani lekar tab tak."

Kartik walked to kitchen and was about to finished pouring water into the glass when he heard Aman calling his name.

Kartik hit a panic mode and almost ran to their bedroom where he saw Aman struggling with half open shirt; with his only one working hand looking oh _so adorable_.

Kartik eyes roamed freely on his body finally settling on his lover's lips turned outward in a beautifully cute pout.He slowly made his way towards him and helped Aman out of his shirt firstly removing from unaffected arm and then from affected one all while gingerly holding Aman's hand in his.

Kartik inspected carefully for any abrasions on his torso; turned him around to check his back.There was none.Kartik released the breath he know didn't know he was holding.

He kneeled slowly on the floor in front of Aman looking into his eyes while tugging his pants, asking for permission.

Aman nodded still trying to focus fully on his breaths.Kartik placed an assuring kiss on his hip bone and pulled down his pants for Aman to step out of them.Cold air hit Aman's naked body making a shiver ran down his spine. 

Meanwhile Kartik observed for the injuries. There was a small area of redness and pinpoint red dots in them just below his right knee seems like the skin is got rubbed against hard surface but it was clean without any tearing. Nothing to worried about.

Kartik stood up, held Aman's shoulders tightly; barely touched his lips to him.

Aman jolted back to reality and opened his teary eyes( when did he closed them?) 

"You are good to go baby." Kartik told him in calm reassuring voice rubbing the nape of his neck.He moved his hand to ruffle Aman's hairs but his hand met with dirt and _leaves_? along with hairs.

"Aman, your hairs are dirty af. You need a hairwash."

"Par Kartik, my hand, aur woh bhi right vala, ab hairwash kaise karu? Shower bhi lunga toh yeh splint vgera geela ho jayega.I will just clean it with wet towel."

"Wet towel won't work Aman.yeh sari dirt aur jo ped uga rakhe hai na tune sir mein, it will get stuck there forever.

"Par-"

"I will give you a hairwash, what say?"

"Par Kartik splint-"

"Nahi hoga tere splint ko kuch main bol raha hun na."

"Par yaar-"

"Ab koi par nahi.Aman bhut par nikal aaye hai tere. chup chap chal mere sath."

Kartik almost dragged him to the bathroom.

"Yahi khada reh main abhi aaya."

Kartik return back with a stool in his hand then placed it in front of the washbasin in the bathroom.Aman has a _God-what-the-fuck-is-going-on-i-have-no-idea_ look on his face.

Kartik grinned widely and gestured his hand to lead Aman to the stool. 

"Yeh ho gya hamara personal hairwash spot tayar."

Aman sat on the stool with his back to washbasin and then Kartik helped him adjust to more comfortable position so he could placed the back of his neck on the edge of the washbasin, head turned upward. _Perfect_!

Aman was giving him a shy smile partially because of his present state and partially because of the anticipation of the future happenings.

Kartik with a swift motion pulled off his own t-shirt throws it to side of bathroom.

"So that it wont get wet islyi utar di maine."Kartik explained seeing Aman flustered.

Kartik is yet to get it to his head that why after so many years of being together, seeing each other naked to much greater extent, worshipping every inch of said naked bodies with both hands and lips; Aman became flustered so much like a teenager to see Kartik in any state of undress just like their first time.But who is he to talk like that when his own state is no less different from Aman. Its just that he is better at preventing it from reflecting on his face although his eyes were always hellbent to be a clear defiance of his composed self.

Kartik gave himself a headsmack in his mind to focus on the matter at hand now.Aman somewhat got his composure back but was still looking down to avoid eye contact.

Kartik moved to settle himself between Aman's legs and wet the Aman's hair with a hand shower.

Aman almost purred at the relaxing sensation making Kartik smirk.Then he grabbed the shampoo making lather using his hands and started rubbing it in Aman's hairs. He scratched his scalp lightly to get rid of dirt; applied pressure on certain points knowing fully well how it helps to relax Aman just like while kissing. _Ahem! Kartik focus!_

As expected Aman had his eyes closed, fully engulfed by the feeling of the talented fingers doing wonders in his hairs.

Kartik couldn't help himself, seeing a contented expression on his baby's face and kissed between his brows. A shy chuckle escaped Aman and he lightly slapped Kartik on his shoulder.

Kartik was now washing Aman's hairs with hand shower when suddenly a tiny drop of water sliding down Kartik's collar bone caught Aman's eyes. It was not a big deal but it attracted Aman's attention to his handiwork from last night.There was a reddish blue hickey present just below Kartik's collar bone and other one, a purplish blue just in the centre of his chest. By this time the tiny water drop had reached that hickey between his chest, continuing his trail downwards unaware of the fact what it did to Aman.His hands worked faster than his mind. Now he was trying to caught that tiny drop with his fingers, unintentionally tracing feather light touches on Kartik's bare chest.He remembered Kartik from last night, writhing under his touch, moaning his name, begging for more, twisting poor sheets in his hands. _The most breathtaking sight in the whole world!_

Aman must have blushed at his thoughts as usual but the blood refused to go to his cheeks this time as it has already reached between his legs and continue to pool heat in his gut.

Kartik looked at Aman's eyes and then looked in the direction of his eyes fixed at. On realising his eyes wore a mischievous glint as he leaned down just at the level of Aman's lips.

"Admiring the view baby?"

Aman felt Kartik's hot breath on his lips and immediately looked up to see Kartik with an evil smirk.A sudden urge to wipe that smirk off his face stirred Aman in action but Kartik was again standing back failing Aman's attempt to take what his, making Aman winced

Aman's hairs were cleaned by the time and Kartik helped him to take his head off the edge of washbasin, gently massaging around his neck to relax the tensed muscles.He grabbed towel and dried Aman's hairs.With a wet washcloth he worked his magic to clean Aman's face; teasingly brushed the washcloth on Aman's lips earning a low growl from him.Aman stretched his body fully to claim Kartik's lips.

"What?" Aman said in muffled annoyance when he found himself kissing Kartik’s fingers instead of his mouth.

"What happened?" Kartik said in his best sweet voice acting oh so innocent.

Aman gaped at him then followed by his signature eye roll.

"Why the hell you don't letting me kiss you?"

Kartik does his best to gave a neutral look and turned around without a single word.

_ Okay its the height of ignorance now.  _

Apparently Aman had enough.Aman with his wounded ego grabbed kartik's neck from behind in one swift motion turning him around and pressed his lips against Kartik's.He forced Kartik's mouth open with his own making Kartik gasp.Immediately afterwards he is introduced with Aman's tongue in most delicious way.Aman explored his mouth with his tongue,nibbled and sucked on his lower lip,licking the cupid bow of his upper lip eliciting the whimpers and moans from Kartik.

Kartik on other hand, was holding onto Aman's waist for his dear life, giving charge to Aman to let him take whatever he wants, responding with same fervor and more fondness.

Aman was running his hands up and down on Kartik's chest on the hickeys, running his fingertips over and over again in such a way as he was trying to tell Kartik that _Kartik Singh, you are fucking mine in every sense of the world._

What felt like eternity finally Aman let go off Kartik gasping for air to compensate the lack of oxygen in his body from last few minutes.

"Because you gave me a mini heart-attack back there, so a little punishment dear husband.Also I know you gave best kisses when you are annoyed and irritated."Kartik answered Aman's previous question before the kiss in a raspy whisper and second sentence spoken with a more of low seductive voice.

Aman blushed like a tomato finally realising his actions from the past few minutes and how he walked straight into Kartik's trap.

"Asshole."

* * *

"Kartik turn around or go out of the room please."

"Aman, are you mad bro? Tu toh aise keh raha hai jaise main kabhi tujhe pehla bina kapdon ke dekha hi nahi hai.In case you forgot i had taken off these clothes from you thousandth of times by now."

They are both in their room and this whole ordeal going on is because Aman is a shy baby and didn't want to change in front of Kartik. Although Kartik protested but he was standing with his back to Aman. _Such a ~~jerk~~ gentleman u see._

"woh baat nahi hai Kartik.Its just.....I feel...your eyes...donot able to concentrate-"

"Yes, yes i know u get lost in my eyes so many times. As expected when you have hottest person in front of you baby."

"Bakwas band kar and come here. This shirt sucks."

Kartik turned around to see Aman somehow got himself tangled in his shirt. _A small little bean he is!_

Partially because Kartik gave him his own shirt to wear so that it won't interfere with his broken wrist and splint and it will be more comfortable for Aman.

"Let me handle this."

Kartik held Aman's right hand in his own, slowly and carefully sliding the shirt up his arm, encircled his arms around his to catch other arm of shirt from behind Aman, helped him into it.Then after adjusting he worked on the buttons of shirt.

"Vase tujhe shirt pehnana bhi utarne jitna hi sexy hai Tripathi."

Aman felt a chucked left him.He grabbed Kartik's collar to pull him down; kissed his cheek lovingly.

"Pagal."

* * *

It was well past midnight when Kartik rolled onto his side to a see the other side of bed cold and empty.He rubbed his eyes in order to clear his vision.

He remembered exactly when he and Aman went to bed together after giving Aman analgesics for his pain.Aman had a hard time falling asleep because of the broken wrist and constant pain it bring along.Ise dard jyada hota hai.Kartik was there for him; giving him medicines, massaging his shoulders, running his hands in the soft hairs singing in his melodious voice. After struggle of almost one hour, his efforts paid off and finally Aman fell asleep. After making sure for few more minutes Kartik had also slept exhausted from the physical and little bit mental exertion.

Now that Aman was not there that could mean only one thing.Kartik knew where he could find his Aman.

* * *

Aman was standing in the balcony leaning on the railing with a cigarette in his hand.

The pain in his other hand was too stubborn to leave him alone. It hurts like hell. Maybe its an exaggeration but _pain is pain_. No matter how mild or extreme it is, if its not letting you sleep, and you can't curl into more comfortable position due to goddamn pressure that puts on the already broken wrist; it was close to hell.

Thus to get a breath of fresh air, he came to balcony and end up succumbing to his old habit. _ **SMOKING**_. 

Aman had given up smoking for last 2 years after learning that Kartik can't withstand the smell of cigarettes.Bad past memories makes you that way. Its not that Kartik ever told him to quit. Kartik loves him as he is. No changes warranted.Its was rather the look of the horrid and inner pain & trauma surfacing in Kartik's eyes that make Aman quit smoking. He still remembered their conversation from that night.

" _Aman tujhe mere liye khud ko badalne ki zaroorat nhi hai. Toh kya huya mujhe cigarettes pasand nahi hai. lekin utni mujhe cigarettes se nafrat nahi hai jitna tujhse pyaar hai. Anything for love. I love you for all the good things you do but I love you more for all your weaknesses and vulnerabilities."_

Stupid lovesick fool.

He hadn't touched cigarette after that but today was different.Pain make you do such things. This smoking was a coping mechanism of Aman to deal with stress and pain; to keep away his mind to concentrate on things other than his problems. That's why it was easier to let go of this habit when Kartik came along. His very own personal coping mechanism. There is no pain, stress and problem in this world that Kartik can let effect Aman. His sunshine smile and his heartfelt efforts made him forget even the biggest sorrows of his life.

Today also Kartik did the same, to take away Aman's pain and had succeeded in it also. But in the middle of the night the effect of painkillers wear off. Kartik was in deep sleep the one which Aman doesn't want to wake him up from.In rare instances only, he was privileged enough to be sleeping peacefully free of any night terrors. Also Aman is a coward or should we say too proud to ask for help from anybody.He didn't want Kartik see him so weak and still hesitated to show his vulnerable side as if Kartik had never seen him like this before.But _Old habits die hard._

All those events led to now; Aman in the balcony; reliving an old habit.

His eyes widen at the sound of footsteps approaching him _.Kartik_.He quickly threw the cigarette to side so that Kartik can't see it. But can you really hide it when all the other person needs is just a single look at your face to tell what going on inside your head.

Aman was sure that Kartik must have understood what he was doing and therefore, was looking at the ground in shame and guilt.

A hand reached to caress his cheek making him shudder under the touch.

"Aman, dard jo raha hai?"

See this is his Kartik. He didn't even uttered a single word but his angel has already guessed what it is.

Aman merely nodded his head because he didn't know what to say.

"Why didn't you wake me up?"

Aman continued looking downward unable to look into Kartik's eyes.

"Aman look into my eyes. You really believed that the waking me up was more difficult than you doing something you knew would make you guilty for a whole week?"

Aman had a sheen layer of unshed tears in his eyes, his vision blurry, even though he could tell Kartik has the most soft and gentle expression he had ever seen, betraying the bitterness of his tone.He also knew that Kartik was annoyed not because he was smoking but because he was running from him, trying to hide his pain from Kartik; something he promised him he would never do.

Even then he couldn't stop himself for voicing the turmoil in his mind.

"I'm pathetic... not able to handle a little pain. i don't want to be weak Kartik.Didn't want you to think that i am weak."

Kartik narrowed his eyes for a second then his expression turned softer the next second.He cupped Aman's cheeks, fingertips placed behind Aman's ears, thumbs running soothing circles on his cheeks.

"Aman.... who told to this, feeling pain as a sign of weakness? Feeling pain and telling someone that you are in pain is not a weakness at all but hiding the pain and getting crushed under it on your own is something comes under weakness.Numbing the pain for a while will only make it worse when you will finally feel it. That's what makes us different from the animals. they are unable to tell anyone no matter how worse of pain they are in. But we, human beings, can do that.Ham bata sakte hai, dikha sakte hai aur kise se baat karke dard ko kam bhi kar sakte hain.The way to heal from the pain is not to act oblivious to it but to accept it and talk about it and let others help if you can't handle on your own; in order to heal.Its pain that makes you stronger.Don't try to hide it rather face it aur let others help you to face it."

Aman was listening intently to each and every word; tears in his eyes. He was fully aware that Kartik was talking about pain beyond physical one.You know a great deal about the path you once being through.

He understands that Kartik was trying to say indirectly that let him lessen the burden of the fears and pain Aman is carrying in his heart his whole life.

Kartik knew that Aman is an introvert and a den of dark emotions that are gotten pooled up inside him for years.Hatred towards self and his family,ignorant of his emotions, helplessness, guilt, shame, insecurity and much more he can't put name on.

Kartik placed a lingering kiss on Aman's forehead; touched his forehead to him conveying his silent unwavering support.

Aman finally looked into his dark deep brown eyes and heaved a long sigh, a gesture of relief.It feels as a heavy weight is lifted off from his shoulders. He leaned in slowly towards Kartik, without blinking even once.The tip of their noses touching, lips few inches away from each other, their hot breath mingling.

Just when Aman is about to lean forward to capture Kartik's lips, realization struck like a big rock on his head. He has fucking smoking smell on him. _Fuck._ Guilt like waves on seashore washed over him.He was just about to selfishly force Kartik to relive something that Kartik hated all his life just because he couldn't control himself.He lowered his eyes in shame and guilt,bit hard on his lower lip to protect Kartik from the smell of cigarettes from his dirt mouth,tear drops hanging losse on his eyelashes.He was cursing every second of him smoking that God forsaken cigarette.

Kartik saw Aman spiralling.Before Aman can back away from him, Kartik moved his hand from nape of his neck to back of his head, kissed Aman like his life depends on it.Aman tried to pull away but Kartik's tight grip on the back of his head and his waist wouldn't let him.Kartik's lips were insistent urging Aman to give in which eventually Aman did.How could he not? when every cell of his being was screaming and begging for this intimate closeness.He tilted his head to give Kartik more access and moved in rhythm with his lips making Kartik smile against his lips.The pain in his wrist long forgotten.Next time he should take this as a painkiller. _Kartik's lips._ Less side effects and more sweeter and enjoyable.

"I'm sorry."Aman said when they finally parted for some air, breathing heavy.Kartik shook his head.

"I love you."

Both of them go to bed together. Kartik spooned Aman from behind placing his hand palm below Aman's injured one,palm to palm.Kartik's other arm was under Aman's head, hand in his hairs.Aman's left hand secured his placed on Kartik's thigh where other's leg was swung upon him.Kartik kissed Aman in the crook of his neck before settling his head there.The pain that was so stubborn few minutes before was now like a little dull ache in his wrist just like his heart. But the comforting warmth beside him soothes his soul and he found himself focusing his mind more on that. Soon sleep wrapped them both in a soft gentle blanket promising of a better tomorrow.

_Love has the special power to heal anything and anybody._

**Author's Note:**

> Each one of us are going through pain of its own kind on the regular basis. The reasons could be different but at the end its same.It hurts.Its also very rare in today's world to find someone who helps us heal from the those age old scars.To have that one person who is actually willing to listen to you and offer you their support is a blessing.So If you are blessed enough to have someone like that in your life, DON'T EVER LET THEM GO and let them hold you to mend broken pieces of your heart and soul.It can be frustrating at times you may feel weak and vulnerable but its all worth it at the end of the day.Take good care of yourself and also let others do that for you too.
> 
> Please leave Kudos and comments if you like. Till next time!


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